Tuesday, March 15, 2016


Mom and I were chatting about nothing significant when suddenly she took a deep breath and said, " I saw daddy today."  

"What?" I asked. thinking a lot of people look alike and everyone has a twin somewhere. Must have been Walmart.

"He was in the sky, on a sailing ship, just as happy as he could be,"  she said. "I saw him the clouds." 

"Well, imagine that," I said. "How was he?"

"He looked wonderful, and he was so happy. and guess who was sailing with him?" she asked.

"Umm, I don't know," I said.

"Jesus Christ," she said. "So I know he's okay because nothing can happen to him."

At least it wasn't another woman I thought silently and I agreed, what else could I do?  She was seeing good things, and they made her happy.  I guess things could be worse.  That was a premonition of things to come.

Friday, March 4, 2016

There are leprechauns in the palm trees

Mom calls me shortly after my father passed away. "Guess what?" she asks and I notice she's a little excited.

"What?" I too start to get excited for her.

"There's a leprechaun in the palm tree out by the pool."

"Really?" I try not to sound skeptical.

"He's living out there, so I told him he could come into the garage to keep dry when it rains," she said.

"That makes sense," I agree wondering what the heck she's going to let live in the garage and feeling somehwat helpless at 900 miles away.  "When did you start to see him?" I ask because by now I'm wondering what she saw.

"This morning," she says firmly. "I was sitting by the sliding doors watching the birds when he just jumped down from the palm tree and waved.  So I waved back." 

"Ah ha, " I said with limited conviction.

"He gave me the lottery numbers for Friday night," she said. "I bought the tickets this morning."

Saturday morning she called me.  "Leprechauns lie and I'm closing the garage door." 

Apparently she didn't win the lottery.  Whew, I thought, one disaster averted. What's next?



Monday, February 29, 2016

Do The Pills Help her Memory Loss

My mother was takinig the memory improvement pill, or the pill that was suppposed to help her retain what memory she had left. She got a little canny and started tounging the pill and sticking it in her cheek and then spitting it out. She couldn't remember what she was taking it for and thought she was either being funny or getting attention. We know this because the pills were hidden all over the house, under bed, in drawers, in her jewelry chest and in her books. Yuk, that was a mess.

So the next visit to the doctor I mentioned that she needed another prescription. The doctor asked my mother some normal questions about taking the pills, and whether theywere helping. To each question she replied,"Yuh, " even if that specific answer was inappropriate. "How's the apartment working out?" "Yuh,"  nod, nod. "when are you going to see the eye doctor?" "Yuh" nod, nod. 

The doctor was a pleasant woman but she looked at my mother, and me and said, "Really? Why?"

At least she didnt have to hide the pills anymore. 

Thursday, February 4, 2016

He Ran Over Himself With the Car

Mom calls me one day - not too long ago. After we get through the report on Florida weather, the neighbors, the dogs, and Bingo she says. "Your dad just came back from the hospital," and she giggles. I surpress my anxiety. "Really, what happened?" "He ran over himself with the car," she laughs. 

I wasn't sure I heard that right. How does one run over oneself with a vehicle and what was he doing driving? He has macular degeneration, no driver license, can't see for beans, and shouldn't be behind the wheel.

"Oh, you're kidding," I say as I immediatley go to the computer and start looking for flights to Florida.

"No. He was driving the car around to the back yard, forgot to put the thing in park and got out. It was in neutral and when he got out it rolled over his foot as he was running along side it to get in and put it in park."

"Well, how's he doing?" I ask.

"Oh, fine," she says. 

"I have a flight lined up for tomorrow at 6AM. Don't pick me up, I'll rent a car, okay?"  I pay for the ticket with my credit card, take a breath.  

"I didn't know you were comiing down this week," she says. 

"You must have forgotten, remember I told you a couple of weeks ago?"  

We just hope we live longer than they do, so we can take care of them.  

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Using a Computer

Found this on line and wanted to share. Sounds like my mother.  

C’mon Ma you have got to try it” I pleaded to my elderly Mother. I don’t know how my Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough! I thought. “Ok” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses “what do I do now?” “Now I’m going to open the home page of google”, I explained. “OK here it is! Now type in ANY question you want into the bar over here and you will find an answer to your question.” I confidently assured her. My Mother looked at me warily, thought for a second, and slowly began to type,

"How is Gertrude doing this morning?"

When I bought my mother a computer and set up her account and password she promptly wrote the log in and password down and put it on the refridgerator, the face of he computer, the office door and in her purse (I'm still not sure why she did that).

When she told her friends all about her computer he felt compelled to share her log on and password information with them to show them how easy it was to use.  I think however that she only used the computer for card games.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Are You Still Dating that Guy

As I might have mentioned, my mother has dementia.  She's funny sometimes and I've heard some interesting stories from her that I am well aware never happened, but that's how it is. She makes things up, has serious issues with linear thought and sometimes a vague memory begins a stream of consciousness that makes me laugh.

On a visit some while ago, when she was still speaking in full sentences and knew who I was more than not, she asked me if I was still dating that guy from Canada.  I had to stop and think about that. I never dated a "guy from Canada" and I've been married to my husband for more than 40 years.  He did work in Canada occasionally and I suspect she remembered that even thought at this time it was more than twenty years ago.  

I said, no, we were no longer dating, but we had gotten married. She then wanted to know if we were going to have any children. Rather than inform her that she already had three grandchildren and one great grandchild and that I was in no shape to keep up with a new baby after the age of retirement,  I told her that we were thinking about it to which she replied that I had better hurry up or I'd be too old.  

The staff at her residence thought the whole thing quite humorous and on my next visit presented me with a funny card saying "Heard you were expecting," 




Sunday, June 7, 2015

Memory Loss Humor

Memory Loss isn't funny - Alzheimer's and dementia are devastating diseases that destructive and painful for family members to watch.  Although my mother has severe memory loss, it does create some humorous situations for which we are grrateful.

At a visit to the eye doctor where mother repeated her entire life story with multiple embellishments for the umteenth time,  she refused to mention any eye problems although she had complained loudly and constantly that she needed new glasses and couldn't see a thing. The doctor gave her the eye test, the glaucoma test, checked for any eye disease and peered inside, around and outside the eyeball, finding nothing.   He presecribed some eye drops finding these might help her dry eye or teary eye conditions.  

In the parking lot she stopped before getting into the car and said, "That doctor is a phoney baloney!" She turned around to go back inside. "He didn't look at me at all. I'm going back in there to take my clothes off."

"Whoa!  He's an eye doctor, Mom, he doesn't need to see everything. There is no taking off the clothes for an eye doctor."

"An eye doctor?" she says looking astonished. "Well, that explains what he was doing."


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